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We are not here to work for God, because we have chosen to do so, but because God has 'laid hold of' us [Phil 3.12, AV]. And once He has done so, we never have this thought, "Well, I'm really not suited for this."
*Oswald Chambers. My Utmost for His Highest: "Held by the Grip of God," June 28.
13No, dear brothers and sisters, I have not achieved it, but I focus on this one thing: Forgetting the past and looking forward to what lies ahead, 14 I press on to reach the end of the race and receive the heavenly prize for which God, through Christ Jesus, is calling us.
*Philippians 3.13-14 (NLT)
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Let us consider Philippians 3.13-14 as it pertains to discernment of the Divine call upon our lives. First, however, I share a personal story.
When I entered seminary in the mid-1980s, I went for one reason - to get my M.Div. I planned, then, to serve as Pastor of a church. I got into seminary only, indeed, at Spirit's push and pull. I had no wish to go to seminary, and certainly not to stay for seven years.
One late afternoon I walked along in front of our apartment. I had thoughts something like the following: "How awful it would be for God to lead me to enter the Doctorate program, after all, they almost 'kill' those students. Certainly not I!"
Well, gradually, I began to realize entering the Ph.D program might be the Divine will - the very thing over a year before I had wanted to run like a rabbit out of hell from. But how would I decide in this important matter? I prayed.
In that period of prayerfulness, I returned from Louisiana to Georgia to be with family for Christmas holidays. One night, alone in the dark, I rested on a couch in the living room. In the dark solitude and silence, I sensed a light sensation in my body. I felt an unspeakable peace that I was to do exactly what I had not wanted to do, indeed, dreaded even the thought of only a year before. I heard no voice, felt no touch, saw no vision, only knew I was to surrender to God's Desire for me to continue studies at the seminary. Suddenly, mysteriously, what I had seen as "not me" and beyond my abilities brought unspeakable certainty and peace.
I could share several other like experiences, as well as when I did not wait for that inner peace and made mistakes to later regret. Likely, many of you could too. Now, back to Philippians 3.13-14.
The NLT rendition uses several verbs for St. Paul's declaration of obedience to God's will: forgetting, looking forward, press on, to reach, receive.
The word for "forgetting" prepares for the movement of the rest of the declaration, highlighting the movement of our lives. We cannot see clearly where God is leading, if we are clinging to either the fortunes or misfortunes of our past. If discernment of God's guiding is dictated by limits of the past, we can not move into the horizons of the future. After relinquishing, in prayer, the past, we can move onward.
The constant that inspires St. Paul arrives at the end of the other verbs: "God ... is calling us." The blessing at the end of the earthly race casts a Divine summons over our lives, and this should influence our every decision and thought. Not only is our sight to be freed from the past, our heart is to keep in mind our sacred destiny. The true, spiritual Christian is a person living under a divine summons that stretches from now to death, and beyond; and the now ever moves with us, death ever moves toward us.
A spiritual Christian keeps the goal in mind, and the consequences of choices that extend beyond the fleshly border of time and place. This helps him or her make wiser decisions, live more loyally, persist more determinedly, and forgive more patiently - in sum, prepare for an appointment with death and the mystery after.
Therefore, discerning God's leading is between these times of past and future. And respect for the final goal does not pull one from time and place, but inspires a sacred obedience to its duties, hopes, and loves.
Here, I sit in South Florida, and some twenty-two years since discerning the summons on the couch in Georgia. The Ph.D. program was wonderful and taxing. I finished with a perfect GPA - not bad for a guy who finished at the bottom of his high school graduating class. It led me into teaching, which I loved dearly, and left due to marked disagreement with the direction of my native denomination.
Since, I have faced that crossroads of discernment many times. I have listened well at times. At times, I have gone my own way. Still, in love of Christ, I keep forgetting, I keep pressing on, and I hear the call.
At midpoint or beyond of this life, the importance of choices I make, with a view to the horizon before me, increases in importance, dutifulness, and sacredness - as well as, love. I love life more, and I love Christ ever-more.
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Are you at a crossroads in your life, needing much God's leading? How are you "listening"?
Has God laid hold on you for a particular service? How are you responding?
Are you resisting accepting a call upon your life? Please pray about that and consider seeking help from a Clegyperson, Pastoral Counselor, Christian Counselor, or Spiritual Director.
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*The quote from My Utmost for His Highest is An Updated Edition in Today's English, Ed. James Reimann.
*Charitable contributions would be appreciated to assist Brian in continuing his ministry. For contributions, contact Brian at barukhattah@embarqmail.com .
*Brian's book of spiritual love poetry, An Ache for Union: Oneness with God through Love, can be ordered through major booksellers or the Cokesbury on-line store, cokesbury.com .
*Brian K. Wilcox, a United Methodist Pastor, lives in Southwest Florida. He is a vowed member of Greenbough House of Prayer, a contemplative Christian community in South Georgia. He lives a contemplative life and seeks to inspire others to enjoy a more intimate relationship with Christ. Brian advocates for a spiritually-focused, experiential Christianity and renewal of the Church through addressing the deeper spiritual needs and longings of persons.
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